Dull the pain

I am looking for a way to dull the pain
To put my mind in a gray haze
To lose my sanity from thoughts of you
Rushing over the hills and valleys

I'll finish my tonic till I'm across the bed
Staring at the ceiling, counting the moments
Till my mind fades to black till the 'morrow
And I will begin again. Pour another tonic

Need to dull my pain
Put you out of my head
And forgive my sin
Love is my weakness

I've lost control and can't find my mind
You stole the riches of my soul
You have put me on the run
To become whole again, letting go

Need to dull my pain
Put you out of my head
And forgive my sin
Love is my weakness

Time to sleep and dream, tonic please
The sweet remedy running thru me
Alone, quiet, I watch the shadows
Seeing you fade away, my mind finds peace

The pain is gone
You're out of my head
I'm forgiven
Love is always my weakness


© LAL
8/14/16

From....

From the moment I saw you all those years ago
As you walked by without a care and free
You captured me

From the second you spoke, my heart began to sing
A love song from deep in my soul, true and bold
You smiled at me

You know...you know...you know
I loved you then
You know...you know...you know
You broke me
You know...you know...you know
It will never be the same

From the darkness came the light of awakening
From the ocean deep came absolution
From fire came restoration
From the earth came strength

From the moment I rose from the ashes
I let you walk away with weight of it all
You released me

From the second your voice went silent
No more love songs, only the music of a beating heart
Your smiles are not for me

You know...you know...you know
I loved you then
You know...you know...you know
You broke me
You know...you know...you know
It will never be the same

From the darkness came the light of awakening
From the ocean deep came absolution
From fire came restoration
From the earth came strength

From here I move into the future
I sing for me
I smile for me
I love for me

You know...you know...you know
You know...you know...you know


© LAL
6/23/16

Straight to the River

I loved too soon
She loved too late
In the end I gave up hope
And she found hope
Living the tangent lives

I stood on the mountain top
Ready to conquer the doubters
She huddled on the ground
Seeking sanctuary from others
Leaving both of us empty

I am crazy far more than sane
She is mad from the pain
My delusion that we could cross the plane
Her reluctance to board the ship
We are doomed by our own insanity


We are headed straight to the river
To wash away the past and present away
We are chained to what should have been
Straight to the river, straight to the river
To be baptized into a new light of sanity
Straight to the river to set our ships free


We stand washed and walk to the shore
Soaked in redemption of clarity
I climb the mountains leaving her
As she heads to the open fields as
I loved too soon, and she loved too late


We are headed straight to the river
To wash the past and present away
We are chained to what should have been
Straight to the river, straight to the river
To be baptized into a new light of sanity
Straight to the river to set our ships free

Straight to the river, straight to the river
Straight to the river, straight to the river

© LAL
7/9/16

Ruination

Will you be my ruin or
Will you be my salvation
Are you my hope or my starvation
Are you my strength or my weakness

Are you going to let me burn or extinguish the flames
Of my burning heart or will it become your train wreck
Is this all you have or I am left out in the rain
Are you real or all wound up in my head

When our worlds collide, who will survive
Who will pick up the pieces
Who will put our hearts back together again
Will we be just surviving the ravages of this affliction

I lay down on the cold ground
Waiting for my heartbeat to begin
I listen to universe spin
Hoping you will walk in

In the new light of day
I see my salvation come from the mist
My thirst is quenched as the rain fills my cup
I am stronger than before, I rise up


© LAL
6/24/16

Without You

We were on the brink of day
All I could give you was that moment
Only your memories to make
The sound of my voice echos
Against your empty walls
My touch lingers on your skin

I'm going to break free
Of your hold over me
Let you slip back into the sea
Watch all the pain float away
You drift among the waves
Wanting to return to shore

I walked through the storm
Battered and torn, I reach the mountain
I see the ruins you made of my soul
Time to pick up the pieces
Start my heart to beating once again
You will no longer defeat me

Let me lay my head down
In the lap of love
Let me hold the warm hand
That comforts me
Let me wake in bed of happiness
Without you haunting me
Without you
Without you

© LAL

23 April 2016

Empty

I stand on the mountain top
Looking down at the cataclysm
I am no longer recognizable

Tick tock the time slides away
The fortune of youth no more
 Once strong now weak

My reign, my empire, my throne
It lays bare upon thy kinsmen
My crown tumbles to the ground

My fight is over, lay down my sword
Surrender my fate as I kneel
No love, no mercy, no hope

I gaze up at the stars
I spread my arms open
My soul grows dim

I am drowning in the sea
As the waves wash over me.
Such pity, such despair, such loneliness

© LAL

18 April 2016

Conqueror

Deep in my cave
Out of the thunder and rain
Strike a match
Light a flame in my heart
Now that it is over
My soul lays bare on the battlefield
All I have is the look in your eyes
When you took the final blow
Now it is calm as the last drop falls
I pick up my sword, leave the memories
Heading out into the unknown
Something wicked may come my way
There is saving to do-I am your conqueror

© LAL

12 April 2016

Soldier

I travel between the sane and insane, tripping over the fine line

I see the shadow of life once defined, twisted in the vine of destiny

Where do we go when we vanish into the mist?

How do we cross the magic river, what spell do we cast?

Should we chase the illusions of the love falls

Ai sonraun laik yu sonraun (My life is yours)

Osir keryon ste teina (Our souls are entwined)

Feva ona ai tombom, Ai hod yu in (Forever in my heart, I love you)

I am your soldier, sitting on the edge of night waiting to conquer

Should we go into battle, we shall build our kingdom

Lust flashes, drives my mind in circles every time you breathe

The rainstorm unleashes on our fate, our vision is clear

Hold onto the fire in your heart and lay with me on the battlefield

Ai sonraun laik yu sonraun (My life is yours)

Osir keryon ste teina (Our souls are entwined)

Feva ona ai tombom, Ai hod yu in (Forever in my heart, I love you)

I travel between sanity and insanity defending my state of mind

I will not be kept in the shadows, but I will live in the light

Live in the light

My vision is clear

You are the light and I am the soldier

Ai sonraun laik yu sonraun (My life is yours)

Osir keryon ste teina (Our souls are entwined)

Feva ona ai tombom, Ai hod yu in (Forever in my heart, I love you)

LAL 3/2016 ©

Life came too easily.

Life came too easily. She was like the Mississippi, long, deep still and powerful. On the surface she lived life with carefree abandon, yet like the river, she either rolled around the obstacle or rushed over it. She wasn't a truly lost soul but one without direction. Life was never hard, only inconvenient. Looking out over time, she often ponder what would become of her in the surreal life she had created. But she knew it wasn’t surreal, she was just lost or too lazy to change it. She resisted the change that was inevitable. She either chose to ignore it or charged it like a ram. She preferred to ignore it.

Like time, change is a continuum always moving forward. Change may be slowed or halted for awhile but like time it will move on. Change may take eons or as quickly as a blink of an eye to happen but it will continue to evolve. She hated change, especially when she could not control the change. It interfered with her pattern in life, unbalanced her sense of being. The only good change was the one she created; the one she could she mold and control. She liked control. She like the freedom it brought. The juxtaposition to her control to the things that controlled her, boxed her in and she became stagnant. She ignore it. She floated on her inner tube down the spring run in life.

The South, in the summer is hot, humid and sweltering. Reality to her was like the hot southern days of summer, too much heat. Being a grown up was work which caused too much heat. Too much heat. Cool springs and daydreaming was not work, it was the pleasure of existing. Why would anyone would want to endure that heat? She pondered. She floated. She daydreamed. She was lost.

She had a choice, Live or float? Daydream or steer her destiny? Change was upon her and it was hers to control. Was she like the Mississippi and had the power to endure the heat? Would she choose to fortify herself for endeavors of life? Floating down the spring run only moves in direction, is this the only direction she wanted? She pondered. She awoke.

© LAL 2016

Fire Light

I sit alone by the fire light watching
Flames flickering, ever reaching
The music gently rocks my heart and
A remembered scent of you soothes my soul.

We are a time gone past
A future never told
We were haunting and mystical
We were autumn and spring.

Firelight dances across my room
I see you in the shadows on my walls
Candle light illuminates the darkness and
I long to touch your face

Close my eyes I still feel your breath against my cheek
I reached out for you and in a flicker you were gone
Winter falls outside my window, covering traces of you
Flames quietly burn, as I desire your passion again

We are a time gone past
A future never told
We were haunting and mystical
We were autumn and spring.

The fire grows dim as the sun rises
I hear the song of another day
I look for you one more time
And silently the flames fade away.



©LAL 2007