Next To Me

I’ll try to write it all down again

It was wrong so many times before

Words roll through my mind

Telling the story of me walking

In the shadows looking for you

 

Replaying all the things I didn’t say

Sleeping in the dark reaching for you

I long for you to be next to me

The space is cold and empty, without you

 

Without you I run wild

Through the mist and fog

Back to the time when you loved me

Back to the time when you were next to me

When you were next to me

Next to me, next to me

 

I’ve tried my best to get you out of my mind

Tried to forget the warmth of you by my side

Your ghost follows me in the night

Whispering the words, I never told you

All I want is your body next to mine

 

Release the locks that bind me

Trace the lines to find the key

Alone with echoes of your voice

Trapped in the chaos with no choice

 

Without you I run wild

Through the mist and fog

Back to the time when I loved you

Back to the time when you were next to me

When you were next to me

When you were next to me

Next to me, next to me, next to me

LAL (c)

11/10/22

Or Can I Go On

I don’t like walking

Down the avenue

Passing strangers

Thinking about you

I don’t like being a refugee

In the four walls of blue

Drinking cold coffee

Thinking about you

 

I remember that fall

And you were mine

Laughing, singing, hoping

Wasting too much time

 

Has it been too long, too long

To think about you

Has it been too long, too long

Or can I go on without you

 

I don’t like driving at night

As streetlights pass me by

Wanting to stop the fight of

Thinking about you

 

I don’t like waiting for a

Fleeting glimpse of

Your shadow in my mind

Moving on, not looking behind

I remember that fall

And you were mine

Laughing, singing, hoping

Wasting too much time

 

Has it been too long, too long

To think about you

Has it been too long, too long

Or can I go on without you

 

I don’t like sitting under the pines

In our Westside park

And drinking too much wine

Thinking about you

 

I don’t like lying in bed

As the moon comes up 

Seeing the light fall away

Thinking about you

 

I remember that fall

Coloring outside the lines

Heading across town to

Dance at the disco hall

 

I remember that fall

And you were mine

Holding hands walking the line

Wanting much more time

 

Has it been too long, too long

To think about you

Has it been too long, too long

To think about you

Or can I go on without you

Or can I go on without you

Or can I go on without you 

LAL (c)

9/22

Prologue--Mystic Tea

 Prologue

It was hot. Too hot to work. The kind of hot that the devil begged for air conditioning. Too hot to stand still; you had to move to generate a small breeze but not fast enough to exert a lot on energy. The only place that Kate could find relief from the delta heat was under a large live oak next to the river bank. She stretched out on the semi cool grass hoping for a breeze to come off the river.  Days like these in the deep south were torturous. There was not enough iced sweet tea in the true southern states to cool down from the sweltering days of summer.

Kate had drifted off under the live oak. Her mind dreamed.  Dreamed of finer things, exotic vacation spots and porches where rocking chairs creaked in rhythm to the southern women who sat in them. She loved southern women. It is what she knew. They were whom she related to as women from the north to harsh and abrasive for her taste. For her, southern women were gentle and charming. They were home.  She dreamed of these women. There were three of them sitting on a veranda. They were dressed in white and ivory linen dresses with wide brimmed straw hats cocked to one side or the other. They were chatting about things that one could only imagine. Sweet perfumed perspiration tickled down their breast bones to vacation spots that only southern dreams are made of. Perfumed handkerchiefs blotted the perspiration from their rosy cheeks.  They were sweet smelling, coy, sexing, tantalizing, ambrosial, sensual, delicious, voluptuous, and alluring. In her dream, she was compelled to walk to that veranda and sit with them. As she approached, they turned, gave her a quick smile and like a flash of lighting they were gone. Leaving her with the memory of their faces and the aroma of their jasmine handkerchiefs.

 The sound of the rushing of the river woke Kate from her reverie and she was smiling. The thought of those belles on that veranda will live long in her memory. And when the hot delta sun beats down on her brow, all she has to do is think of them and heat fades away.

Storms and Rainbows

I wish every storm had a rainbow tied at the end
Not every storm brings the hues of a rainbow
After the storm ends, thunder is a distant memory
The colors around me become richer and deeper
The air is perfumed and reminds me of you
Rain drops glisten on tips of grass like tiny crystals
I remember how you felt lying next to me
As the lightning would strike, holding tightly
I heard your heartbeat as you pressed against me
Now, as I lay here in the wet grass, longing for you
Knowing that this storm is over, and you are somewhere
I can see the rainbow tied to the end of the storm


(c) LAL
6/5/20

A Night in Spain--Una noche en españa--Spanish version

Una Noche en España 

¿Recuerdas esa noche en España?

Sentado en el balcón mirando la puesta de sol.

Gente paseando por las calles de Madrid

Bebiste vino tempranillo y bebí whisky.

No se necesitaban palabras, solo nuestros

pensamientos flotantes

Vimos como las estrellas comenzaban a brillar

Escuchamos música de la calle de abajo

¿Recuerdas aquella noche en Madrid?

Eras más brillante que las estrellas

Estábamos tranquilos, estábamos como uno

Vi el deseo en tus ojos

Acariciaste mi mejilla

Te volteaste, sonrió, y luego te fuiste.

Escuché tus pasos para tu regreso

Me senté en el balcón hasta el amanecer bebiendo mi whisky

Te anhelo, me acosté en nuestra cama

La cama se sentía vacía sin ti

La cama donde soñamos el mismo sueño

Abrazados durante la noche

Todavía huelo tu aroma en mi soledad

Añoro tu toque, escucho tu respiración

El cuarto está vacío desde que cerraste la puerta

Estoy en la oscuridad sin tu luz

¿Recuerdas esa noche en España?

Mientras nos sentábamos en el balcón sobre Madrid

En ese momento éramos irrompibles

Tan rápido como tu sonrisa, el cristal se hizo añicos

Dejándome esperando tu toque

Me acosté en la cama, las lágrimas corrieron por mis mejillas

Las calles se callan, mi corazón se ralentiza

Y el sol se puso de nuevo, la luz se fue.

¿Recuerdas esa noche en España?

LAL

(c) 6/18-Actualizado 12/19

The Night in Spain

Do you remember that evening in Spain?

Sitting on the balcony watching the sun set.

People strolling the streets of Madrid

You drank tempranillo wine and I sipped whiskey.

No words were needed, only our floating thoughts

We watched as the stars began to shine

We listened to music from the street below

Do you remember that night in Madrid?

You were brighter than the stars

We were tranquil, we were as one

I saw the desire in your eyes

You stroked my cheek

You turned, smiled, and then you left.

I listened for your footsteps for your return

I sat on the balcony till sunrise sipping my whiskey

Longing for you I laid in our bed

The bed felt empty without you

The bed where we dreamed the same dream

Holding each other close through the night

I still smell your scent in my loneliness

I long for your touch, I listen for your breathing

The room is empty since you closed the door

I’m in the dark without your light

Do you remember that night in Spain?

As we sat on the balcony above Madrid

At that moment we were unbreakable

As quick as your smile, the glass shattered

Leaving me waiting for your touch

I lay on the bed, tears flowed across my cheeks

The streets grow quiet, my heart slows

And the sun set again, the light is gone.

Do you remember that night in Spain?

LAL

(c) 6/18-UPDATED 12/19

The Storm Within

                                                         The Storm Within


I stood on the edge of the cliff watching the storm roll over the rocks below. You left me standing in the mist. You are my nemesis of my heart and soul. You shatter me, like stained glass; leaving me like sharp fragments on the floor. The storm is getting stronger and it is harder to hold on. I let you go a while ago but you return on the tide. Splashing on my hopes with your ancient words. They are like lighting strikes hitting my chest a thousand times. The winds of the storm rip at my heart and like you, leave me tattered. I am a ship wreck on the rocks, my treasure is at the bottom to the deep cold sea. Your waves battered against my frame, yet I hold firm. I watch the storm’s fury beat against the cliffs, it climbs higher to engulf and sweep me out to sea. I rage out against the storm you bring forth to defeat me. You will not conquer me, I shall slay the wicked games you play. Your storm will not become my master of self-destruction. I will rise from your ashes and leave you laying bare on the shore. I will not look back upon you as you now battle the storm within. 

LAL © 
3/10/19

Duo

The following two poems were a collaboration with a friend and myself. We alternated with each line. Hope you enjoy.


Edge of Time

You stood on the edge of time
Like a reminder of a time long past, yet close at hand
The breeze brushed across your face with the scent of me
I close my eyes and I'm frozen reminisced
You reach out to touch me as I silently passed
My body forsaken screaming mute- yearning to ask
'Why are you only a memory in the mist of my soul'
If time were kind, it would grant a rewind-so I could pull you close making you mine
You stood on the edge watching me float away on the 'what might have been'
Our moment vanishes like dust, too scared in the truth to admit what we knew.


(c) LAL/AL
1/6/19



Complexities

Your lips send me into the vastness of complexities
As fine as silk your fingers glide over me, losing myself in the sensation
You very core pressed to mine, bodies and souls buried lost in time
With every breath you take, my heart beats in rhythm with yours
All the world fades away as we breathe in a rhythm only we can create
You touch me, the universe gathers us in as you take me on a cosmic flight
One would never dare to convince me, a love this pure could never be but true and right
As the night slowly gives into day, we wake to find our dream is our reality
Daily we live wrapped in a love the the sun and moon shine jealous upon.


(c) AL/LAL
1/6/19

The History of Now

She was the history trying to slip into my present. I remember how she looked and moved the first time I saw her. I felt the softness of her skin the first time I touched her. She moved me out into the sunlight. I had been a master of the dark. Stealing myself away from the chance of being myself with anyone.  I would have daydreams of her. I would have night dreams of us. She was the untouchable. She was my deepest craving. She would look at me from across the room. Her eyes bore into my soul. It frightened me. I yearned for her closeness, to feel her words on my cheek, and inhaled her earthy aroma.

It was the year of the last of our youth. When things seemed obtainable and risk taking was just a joy ride. She dared me to venture outside of myself, to reach for the unreachable. And laughed at my effort as we laid in the sun. She was a provocateur. The grand gesture. All the while hiding the one thing she wanted most. I was content to have time with her. I was her protector, her obelisk, her stalwart.

   

It was an awkward time. Growing into adults while holding onto childhood. We stumbled around each other. Never quite sure of the movements. Never crossing that line. Always wanting to take the jump. So, there we stood, face to face, and relished that moment. So assured that we would make time stand still and be in a moment of trueness. How naive, how ridiculous and yet there we stood, believing in the never-ending story.

Now-we are no longer standing in that moment. We moved from that youthful endeavor. She moved into another life from mine, and I never forgot that moment. I held it in my heart. I stood in a new moment, and it took root. I am still standing in it. I saw her on a street corner as if time had never passed. I remembered that touch. I mused to myself and turned to walk away when I heard that familiar voice. I turned and we stood face to face. I saw the youthful moment fade away. I smiled and lightly touched her face. As I turned to walk away, she whispered, "It was always you that I longed for.” I whispered back. “I know.”

Now, in this moment I no longer feel dark but full of light. She gave me the light. Every night I drift off to sleep, I say my little prayer of thank you.

LAL ©

8/18

End of the Line

Here I am a short old round woman
Looking toward the end of the line
I have loved some girls
I have loved some women
Each are never ending
But I look for you
Every night in my dreams
I've watched you pass by
I've felt the touch of your hand
I've looked into your endless eyes
I've felt the softness of your kiss
But those moments were only a dream
Every morning I awake
You are gone in a fleeting moment
Leaving me to want you more
Only to dream again
Before I come to the end of the line
One more dream I wish to have
That when I awake from my dream of you
You are wrapped up in my arms, dreaming of me
I smile and jump off at the end of the line.


LAL (c)
7/18