Monday, June 20, 2016

Fat and Lazy

I have been lax in my posting on the blog here of late. There is a compelling force in my mind to write something but nothing is forthcoming. I have gotten fat and lazy and my my mind has followed suit. I used to blame my lack of creativity on my muse being asleep, however; I don't believe the culprit is my muse but my lazy mind. The sad part of this little tale is that I like being lazy to a certain degree. I have come to a place where I feel drained of energy and purpose. Then frustration sets in. Then I make a plan but never follow through because I have a million rationalizations not to set the plan in motion. Lazy-the merry-go-round I live on.

I was at one time very enthusiastic about my online story of Puddleville. It was light hearted and very humorous. Now, it is almost a struggle. I no longer find passion in it. Much less humor or a sense of home town. Of course my ego gets shattered every time I post a new episode of Puddleville and it just sits there in oblivion, waiting for folks to love it like I do. A  friend keeps trying to encourage me by saying that if it only touches one person then it is worth it. I guess she is right but my ego doesn't see it that way. I know what you are going to say--"F your ego and just move forward." Well sometimes that is easier sad then done.

Let's face it, this kind of sounds like a pity party and maybe it is. This is what happens when you get fat and lazy. And you let the mind get fat and lazy. And not push the muse to wake up and write the words you want to say. I guess if the only person my words touch is me then I will set them free into the universe.