Saturday, May 8, 2010

The Job

There must be very little that has crossed my mind in the past few weeks as noted from my last entry. So I will take moment to vent- I really am discouraged by my job. When I try to do the right thing, I am shot down repeatedly, it becomes difficulty to hold any enthusiasm about the job. I really like the idea of my job and I use to like doing because it served a higher purpose. But when myself and a couple of other people are the only ones that give a damn then I ask myself, "What's the point?" There has to be a better ideal than just self service. In my company we are about public service, however the employees that provide service are more interested in self service than public service and it is discouraging. So, I will go to work and do what I have to do to maintain the my job and hopefully the next seven years will pass by until I can retire. I am tired of the fight.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Why?

WOW it has been a bit time since I posted anything. Well, you know sometimes I just don't have much to say. I do wonder about an assorted amount of stuff, like why are people stupid, why people don't engage in better conversations, why do people complain about stuff they change, why do people disenfranchise the feelings of others if those feelings or opinions are different, why do people drive when it is obvious that they can't and are dangerous on the road, why do people mistreat children, the elderly and animals but why do we tolerate it? Why do people smoke? Why do teenagers sleep all the time? Why does my local government continue to lie (not little lies but great big huge lies) and protect themselves from public that they are to serve? Why can't I get my promotion? Why don't women with jiggly cottage cheese butts wear more Lycra? Why can you freeze ice on the asses of women that have money (mostly that their husbands provide)? Why is it when you are doing nothing, no one will talk to you but the moment you become engaged in something, everyone wants to chat?

I have a lot of why questions but very few answers. I think about all this stuff, however my bigger question is, what is to become of us? I banter about in my mind the question of "what is the point"-if we live then die and that is the end-what is the point? If we live because of the faith unknown reason-what is the point if we don't know the reason. Do we live in order to experience the human emotions? Other than continuing the our species what is the point?

We have evolved that technology is doing a greater portion of the work for us. Will technology evolve faster than humans and we will no longer be required? Reflections of the movie Terminator. You know I am an old hippie type and truly believe that mankind has more hate in the world than love for themselves and that is sad.

I am on the last leg of my journey in life and I am planning for it to be a good and joyous journey as long as the stupid stay in the group homes!! Everyone got their helmets, time to ride the short bus!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Impact

As I grow older and more appreciative of life, it has occurred to me today that there is someone in my life that has a major impact on me more than I ever realized. Wow---bombshell...anyway I am truly thankful that they are in my life book for eternity.

Sometimes, we just go blindly forward in our lives and never stop to take into consideration the people that have an affect on us-I am one of those. Today, I saw clearly the quiet impact that someone has had on me and I gave thanks for that and am forever over joyed that they are in my life book. Not to say there aren't many people in life who have had an impact, but sometimes I have overlooked the quiet givers.

You never know who might love you just for who you are. For the longest time I believe there were only a handful of people who truly loved me. My mother and grandmother for the majority of my life. But I as look down to the road to end of my unusual life, I realize that there have been other people that have loved me for just who I am. And these are folks I have never suspected. Today, that revelation came to me and man was that a smack in the head.

I finished a very good book recently called, Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman. In the story she refers to "our life book". I remember my grandmother talking about that as a child but had forgotten about it until I read that book. I have always believe that things happen for a reason and people are in you life for a reason. But what we fail to do is appreciate the person for being there or appreciate the reason for them being there. I realize that sometime there are folks in our lives that bring negativity to us, but I know that with out the the opposite we can never hold value for all the positive in our lives. Another axiom I hold is 'nothing is given to us that we can not bear' or 'that which does not kill us makes us stronger'.

So, the negative people or circumstance in our lives are there to makes us stronger and to overcome those obstacles. When we have prevailed over the problems then we can appreciate the positive, goodness and joy in our lives. Those silent givers are the ones who help fuel our endeavours in this world.

Often, we too are the silent givers. But one must give with humility and grace. There are not enough humble people in this world. And that is sad.

To all the silent givers in my life, thank you and I love you!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Retirement

Hey kids...I'm back. Had a great vacation with the exception of a couple of tense moments because some people choose not to help themselves. But it was all good.

What is on the hot topic with me tonight. Well, it seems there is some nasty legislative bills floating around at the State capital to reduce our retirement benefits. This is not good since I only have seven more years to go. But once again it is a certain party conspiracy to cut state funds at the expensive of firefighters and law enforcement. Gee will they never learn. Public safety is a number one priority verses letting your rich buddy off the hook on property taxes while middle income property taxes go up.

Well it is the weekend and many things planned for enjoyment before heading back to work next week. Had lunch with an old classmate today. What a trip that was!!! It was wonderful to see him again.

This is short and sweet but the hour is late and Mr. Sandman is calling. So until next time....Mr. Sandman bring me a dream~~~

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Vacation

Ok kids, I am off the airwaves for awhile (maybe). We are leaving in the am to go on our mini vacation. Should be fun, at least I hope so. Going to watch alot of baskeball in Hot-Atlanta--not so much hot as cold! Brrrr! Dress in layers is the trick to staying warm. Well off we we go!!!!!!
Here's to cocktails and women and may the well never run dry!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Facebook

What is it about FaceBook? It is addicting. I can't stand it because I am as addicted as the next guy. Just when I thought I have the will power it stay away, it is like siren drawing me back. I HAVE to logon and see who has posted on my wall. I feel hurt if my post is over looked or neglected. I have things to say and I need validation of that stuff. (Ok I have slipped off the edge again into that psycho-babble). The one positive thing I can say about FB is that I have been able to connect with friends that I have not seen in years. And that is a very good thing.

The other addiction I have on FB is the games. I am looking for a 12 step program for that addiction. Who knew that farming would occupy my waking hours? OMG. I worry about if my crops are ready, what free gifts did I receive today, do I need to expand, what is the best crop for the dollar and list goes on.

The sad part on about my FB addiction is that the thrill only lasts a few minutes and then I get bored, then it is off the farms. I did actually give up one farm game. Painful but the cut was clean. Of the other two farm games, I really only spend the more time on one. But they both feed my habit.

I have given up TV for the most part for FB. Not that there is anything TV that isn't banal. I miss Lily Tomlin! Ooooo maybe I should see if she a FB page!! OMG, someone throw me a life line!!!!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

LEO Speaks

This was not written by me but by one the best people I have know for over 30 years. I applaud her!!! I felt compelled to post this here as she speaks with the voice of many Americans. I am proud of her.


"Starting Monday, the jobless will no longer be able to apply for federal unemployment benefits or the COBRA health insurance subsidy.
The implication of this decision is so far reaching, to the excess of 5 million people, it's sheer consternation can not be ignored. Is there not one member of the senate that is in tune with the "American Citizens" positions? That this decision was concluded is answer enough. Was there not one senator that stood up and said, "We can not do this, we can not bring such a devastation to the lives of the citizens of this country. We can not leave this chamber until the realization of truth for which the economical demise of 5 million people must be overturned into a secure haven for survival." Your protocol has now crushed millions of lives which rests on your shoulders, from your hands.

Has our "Commander in Chief" been privy to this information? Of course he has! Has a mandatory, emergency meeting of the senate been called on the behalf of these people? No!

Do you think the foreclosure rate is going to decrease now, do you think the homeless population is going to decrease now, need I go on?! No to all those questions. On the other hand that may be exactly what you all want.
I am ashamed that the senate would would allow the lives of 5 million people to be economically raped.

You want to be a hero, go down in history as the one senator who stood loud and firm for the rights of the American people during one of the worst economical faults since the great depression? Insist on an emergency meeting. Force the senators to push themselves away from their lobster dinner, leave their well warmed accommodations, put their health insured bodies in their luxury vehicles and do their job for which they are well compensated. If they don't show... they are fired!

No unemployment for them, no pensions, no retirements, no leave pay, no health insurance...no nothing. And when they have exhausted all their resources, gone into foreclosure, bankruptcy and now knows the world of the Ramon Noodle diet; maybe then our senators will come to realize the implications of their conduct and decisions towards the American people.

I ask you again, do you want to be a hero?"

Lynda O'Brien
Florida

Approval

I have been remiss in my posting. But some days I feel like it and others it's ahhhh not in the mood. The past week has been eventful and emotional. Man, it is amazing what five years of suppressed feelings will spring up out of nowhere. Fortunately, I as able to grip the moment and push all of that back down. Having an an emotional moment at work is not good. But I am sure all of that will pop back up. Oh can't wait...not!

I hate the fact that after all this time there are still people in my life that I have to please or not disappoint. Always seeking that approval. I believe it has to do with self confidence. What is the pitiful part, it's not family or close friends but people that are acquaintance friends. I am too old to have these teenage emotions.

Oh well, I must be in an emotional phase in the lunar cycle or something. But then again, as I analyse my life it has always been about approval. Good or bad? I don't know.

I have been told by a good friend that I should do comedy on a regular basis. By reading this blog, you might scratch your head and say I just don't see the humor.

When I am not being melancholy and maudlin, I do have a funny bone that likes to trip the light fantastic. So, my new effort on the blog is have lighter moments. Spring is around the corner so it is time open up the windows and doors and let some fresh air and light in.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Interlopers

Short and sweet. Have you ever wanted do something that you enjoyed but friends or family decide it would better if they did it right along with you? I have gotten myself in that barrel of pickle juice. You see,there are places we love to go and enjoy. For the first few years we just alone, well I got it in my head why not share the fun. Guess what? People actually wanted to go! And low and behold it has turned into this yearly event. Now don't get me wrong, I love tradition and family but this has turned into work. I know, my selfish demon is poking it's ugly head out but I can't help. This is it, I say, no more National Lampoon Vacations for me!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Parents Lost

I was reading some posts of friends on a social board and the conversation was talking about parents lost. Man did that hit home with me. Whew....brought up some buried emotions. It has been 5 years since my mother past away and for the first years I had become OK with it but over the past year or so it has been a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be. I am not trying to be morose but I really miss her more than I can express. Sometimes I feel like weeping for hours but I know that will not change her passing so I just "man up" and move on. (I just so hate all that psycho babble).

Losing a parent can be quiet devastating. Even at my age I feel so child like when I let myself feel those emotions of missing her. I guess the adage is true, you will always be your parents child. This is the lesson learned...never let an opportunity pass you by to tell your parents that you love and need them. I wish I had said it more.

This is really hard to type without letting those emotions bubble to the top. But maybe this is what I needed to do, finally put the feelings into words.

The two most important people in my life were my mother and grandmother. I miss them each day but I am eternally grateful for having me in their lives.

I now put this to rest.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Quandary

I am in quandary, on the horns of a dilemma as it were. I started this blog so I could have a place to put a voice to the problems at hand. A place here I could let out all the things that are bottled up and then let it all go. Moving on to a better place, (you know all that psycho-babble). I figured it would be the screen and myself that shared those moments. Now my quandary, it is kind of lonesome, to be here with my thoughts. So, I sought out a friend of mine and said, "Hey, I started a blog. Drop by and let me know what you think." Now, I am sitting here wondering why I did that when my intent was to have a place of self solace. As with a bolt of lighting, it struck me. I needed some kind of affirmation to those feelings and thoughts. So everyday I check to see if there had been a comment or maybe a new follower, but to no avail. So, I have concluded that I am just pitiful!
Then I stop, shake my head and realize that not only do I not understand people but I really don't understand myself.

And this my fiends make life interesting!!!

BS

Good morning! Another day here at the institute of BS.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Annoys Me

It seems I have made it to day two of my blogging experience. So far so good. Today wasn't a bad day, went back to work after having the holiday off. I managed to get some things done but not all of what I wanted to accomplish. There is always tomorrow.

So do I have a soapbox today? Of course, why ask such silly a question. Once again I just don't understand people. Why is it that the people who screw up and should be fired end up getting promoted, whereas, those of us who follow the rules, do a good job, loyal to the company, are educated and prove worthy, don't get SQUAT!!! This just annoys the royal piss out of me. Yes, I know I shouldn't let it bother me but it does. You know all that psycho-babble about letting stuff go that you can't control is just horse crap. We are human beings with emotions and sometimes the stuff just pisses us off!!! Then I stop, shake my head and realize, I just don't understand people.

Another thing that just annoys me to no end is a mess that people will walk by and not clean up!!! Why is that? They see the mess and will even make comment about the mess and just keep walking. LAZY!!! That is what it boils down to, pure laziness. OMG, it takes more energy to avoid cleaning up the mess than it would just to clean the mess up. I mean come on people, clean it up!! Then I stop, shake my head and realize, I just don't understand people.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Stupid Again

I was at the local grocery store just moments ago and witnessed another case of stupid. An older middle aged woman was being assisted by one of the baggers from the store. A polite young man was dutifully putting her bags of groceries in her back seat as she stood watching with a scowl on her aged face. He made a innocuous light hearted comment to her as she got in the drivers seat. She unceremoniously dismissed him with a snarled lip and a wave of her hand. I stood watching and I noticed, as she back out of the parking spot, she had a handicap tag hanging from her rear view mirror. I thought, OK, handicapped needed help with her bags-I am good with that, but here is the stupid part. As she drove past me, I saw it. A COPD inducing cigarette hanging on her lips. Ding Ding Ding!! Helllloooo stupid, could the reason you are handicapped and hateful, is because you SMOKE!!! Hello Stupid.

It just absolutely makes shake my head and say to myself I just don't understand people!

Day One-2

Ok still day one--trying to get a handle on this blog thing. Seems pretty easy so far but sometimes I can get a bit internet dumb.

So what's on my mind today?, you ask. An assortment of things. I just want to know were the the guide book to understanding people is located? I work in the public sector and to this day I haven't gotten a frim grip on understanding why people do the stuff they do.

Side note--I wonder in Blogdom is it permissable to cuss?

I am a firm believer in that there is a plot to turn humans into nothing intellectually higher than lemurs. Every day people get up and take a healthy dose of STUPID! Come on people you have gray matter in your carnium for a reason-use it. Educate yourself!


Wow-Up on that soap box!!! Day one and I better reign myself in, have alot more days to fill up with my rants.

Hey don't be shy-got something to add or say feel free!!

Day One

Day one of my blog. They say keeping a journal is a good way of expressing feelings and thoughts to help solve problems. Well, I am going to give it a try. Maybe it will be a good thing. Never say never till you try it!